A Shamanic Journey

Last Saturday found me circling with a mentor of mine and a small group of individuals who have become very special to me over about the past eighteen months.  This was our second annual all-day shamanic journey retreat.

In my morning journey, I ascended to the Upper World and quickly flew to a black crystalline fortress floating in space.  This was the home of L___________, one of my inner spirit guides.  Standing at an open doorway, She beckoned me inside, Her raven black hair flowing over an iridescent blue-green cape.  She moved like water up bejeweled stone stairs to Her black crystal throne, turned and sat, smiling benevolently from out of a fair face with large eyes the shape and coloring of peacock feathers.  Two huge onyx panthers came to life at the bottom of the steps, turned to me in gentle greeting.

I asked L__________ about dual consciousness.  She replied with many statements in rapid succession.  I found it hard to keep up.  Basically, She emphasized that I notice the visible and invisible (to my own eyes) beauty in all things, the movement and life in everything.

Above us gleamed a cathedral-like ceiling, the bottom half of an enormous emerald globe, finely cut and interspersed with lapis shades of blue.  Soon, this smoothed out into an opal filled with a web-work of scintillation, mostly blue and green with hints of purple.  I floated up into it.  Inside, I heard L___________ say, “Be between the spaces,” or something very close to that.  My mind translated:  Where dense matter is, there is always peaceful space.  Be there in that spaciousness.  Feeling at one with it all, I levitated within a warm expanse of green light and floating crystals, their hues ranging along the rainbow spectrum.

Then, L____________ took me through a day in my present life.  From home to work, everything was cast in a calming light.  Before leaving my house in the morning, I took note in the dining room of a lead crystal vase holding peacock feathers, cherished mementos from my husband’s and my wedding reception in 2012.  These were one of many a visual reminder that L____________ is ever-present around me.

A little later, I saw vining plants fill the hallway where my office is located, a tunnel of thriving verdancy.  I understood, yet again, how being with plants is a way into feeling  the wonderful spaciousness of existence.  L____________ kept reminding me to see and be with the beauty all around in both the large and small spaces between, each of them ultimately simply peaceful space.  Plants live this understanding so naturally.  “It’s all there,” She hummed.

We returned to L_____________’s fortress in the cosmos.  I then floated backwards from Her mighty abode, back to Earth, smiling in farewell, for now, even though we’ve never actually parted.

Devotional without Shame

My spiritual practice leans naturally towards the devotional and always has. Long ago, a part of me used to feel some shame in that, thinking somehow being devotional was an inferior, un-evolved, childish way to practice connecting with the Divine. After all, I learned from some influential quarters, total detachment is the way to go; embrace the void, sunyata, nothingness, whatever you want to call it. This to me, is its own form or way of devotion, albeit one that I don’t directly gravitate to as a starting point. I think I arrive differently to this deep understanding of detachment yet living from a place of universal love. Whatever works for each of us, it doesn’t matter. Live and let live, spiritually and otherwise. Blessed Be. Namaste. L’chaim.

On Humbleness

Humbleness has rarely been far from how I feel and live.  It was brief times away from humbleness here and there that soon resulted in me falling on my face, swiftly bringing me back to this initial state of being.

Confidence, on the other hand, felt ever-elusive for so much of my life. Now, I find myself thinking and acting more confidently, while out of a sense of humbleness. Among other things, staying humble keeps me open to learning and knowing more clearly what to actually feel confident about.

It is painful for me to witness how difficult it is for some to simply be humble, which, to be clear, does not mean groveling and/or being smaller/less than others.

On Fear and Ignorance

I’m convinced that some people have a part or parts inside them that are fearfully, willfully ignorant and prefer to stay that way rather than allow new information to change their overall perspective. It’s like they’re predominately stuck somewhere in a stage/phase of child development, having never successfully completed it. I think this has always been the case for whole segments of humanity. For those of us who are not so rigidly ruled by ignorant, afraid parts– and all or the vast majority of people have them in their psyches– it’s left to us to save both ourselves and those more stuck people from such harmful actions that arise from desperately holding onto so much fear and ignorance. No pridefulness or arrogance is meant here. Rather, a combination of being humble, compassionate, and mindfully aware is in order. Those who strive imperfectly but sincerely to live this way naturally lead others by example into creating a healthier world for all. And I’m so grateful for the many who lead by such wonderful example.

Brief Thoughts on Open-heartedness

Slowly but surely, I am settling into a deeper sense of believing and trusting in my own inner truth while simultaneously holding a deepening compassion for others who do not seem to understand where I’m coming from. This includes a few with whom I share some close, old history. I have found that the maturation of the psyche/soul takes quite a long while. Only just yesterday did I remind myself, yet again, that what I most value– next to and along with beauty– is to live with an open heart to the world and everyone in it. It’s a tall order but so worth striving for.