Rant: Enough With All the Flipping the Bird Memes

I find all these images/memes on social media of people flipping the bird at the camera both sad, tiresome, and aggravating. Many people have gone way too far with blindly advocating defiance for the sake of defiance, in a mindless knee jerk way, gesturing “f— you” to the world simply because they can, and glamorizing it as somehow great to do (all the while helping to maintain divisiveness, exactly what the world needs far less of right now).  And this in reaction to so much ugliness and pain going around with our fellow human beings and the rest of life on earth. It’s like the ultimate giving in to cynicism and selfishness: “Screw everyone else, I’m just going to look out for me.” And just beneath the surface of this: “I give up.” This is just what Trump/Drumpf and his followers are doing. Others are getting sucked into being like them with this kind of “f— you” mentality. Very sad, and frustrating, this pointless, toxic, non-introspecting negativity.

Now, I’m very much all for not being a blind follower, but there are so many more colorful, positive, gutsy ways to not follow rather than via a tired old, unoriginal, alienating, toxic “f— you” gesture.  Such bubble gum rebellion.  Paradoxically, that’s just another flip-side of following, re: Drumpf and his supporters with their bird flipping to so much of the world and what they don’t understand, fear, or already feel alienated from through experiencing disenfranchisement, etc. They say “f— you” one way or another to so much, emotionally shitting on the rest of us. This is something easy for any of us to fall into doing. I myself have to be mindful and step away from the temptation to do it too. But, it’s part of me being an adult with a functioning brain to first breathe and think before impulsively, unoriginally acting out, just because I can.

Let’s please not fan the flames with more of this cynical pushing away. Not reposting memes of people flipping the bird is one of countless ways to consider avoiding such feeding into this mindlessly looping, over-negativity vortex. We’re all stronger, more compassionate, and ultimately better than that– not to mention able to be more imaginative and creative, if we but just stop a moment or two and engage our brains and hearts more. Food for thought.

On Humbleness

Humbleness has rarely been far from how I feel and live.  It was brief times away from humbleness here and there that soon resulted in me falling on my face, swiftly bringing me back to this initial state of being.

Confidence, on the other hand, felt ever-elusive for so much of my life. Now, I find myself thinking and acting more confidently, while out of a sense of humbleness. Among other things, staying humble keeps me open to learning and knowing more clearly what to actually feel confident about.

It is painful for me to witness how difficult it is for some to simply be humble, which, to be clear, does not mean groveling and/or being smaller/less than others.

Brief Reflection on My Travels and Openness

When I was 5 1/2 years old, I began over a year of travel with my parents that took me overseas to England and Europe, then back across the Atlantic down to Central America and up through Mexico, all before arriving back home, Northern CA. We moved around a lot, living for a while in ethnically diverse Berkeley of the 1970s. (Telegraph Avenue was hopping then with merchants selling their colorful wares.) We visited at least a few Native American Indian reservations. There were some other journeys too and peoples I met along the way.

I know that my openness to meeting and learning from others who are far different than myself stems in significant part from the various cultures and ways of life I was exposed to over extended periods of time at such a young age. In a sense, my own backyard was expanded early on to encompass whole other countries and peoples. And while I am often a homebody these days, feeling tired at times from a hard week’s work, in my heart I remain ever-open to meeting and welcoming an array of people into my life.

Taking Up Space

I walk this graceful and sometimes clumsy line of doing my best to take up my rightful physical (and otherwise) space in the world without over-stepping into others’ space. I’m very aware of my privilege as a white, professional male and how I’ve overly taken up a lot of space, some of which here and there was not rightfully mine to take. Then, there’s the actual space that I and my needs naturally fill up, which is ultimately non-negotiable. Between this delineation has been a confusing, gray seeming area for me, which, thankfully, has become less and less so over the years. I think this is a challenge many of us– if not all– humans learn to navigate better as we grow.

Hear hear to all the disenfranchised people taking up more of their rightful space!

Politicians Are Servants and, on Rare Occasion, Worthy of Celebrity Status

[Trigger warning:  The very end of my commentary is briefly irreverent and crude, to drive home my point, so to speak.  Hopefully, readers will glean the sense of humor that I meant to convey in an off-color way.  Sometimes, people take themselves far too seriously.]

The following words from blogger and political commentator Matt Walsh (@MattWalshBlog) came my way via a friend’s post over on Facebook:

“I say to Beto fans, Trump fans, all fans of politicians: it is un-American, ridiculous, and dangerous to be a fan of a politician.  They aren’t pop stars.  Support them if you agree with their policies.  Criticize them when they go wrong.  They are servants, not celebrities.”

Okay, so let me unpack this.  First of all, I think it can be argued that all celebrities are servants.  They serve the public in assorted ways, pop stars providing entertainment as a service.  Hence, I find his delineation of servant and celebrity rather extreme and not always accurate.  Also, what the hell is wrong with fandom, including political fandom where truly earned?

Mr. Walsh’s tone here is harshly chastising, directly contributing to an already over-polarized discourse in the political arena, which is the last thing we need more of in America.  Upon sleeping on this statement of his after I first read it last night, what came to me was how intellectually elitist Matt Walsh comes across as being in this statement.  Instead of encouraging people to look within towards better understanding their deep hunger for leaders to look up to with devotion, he shames them for their attempts at doing so, as if they/we are ignorant children to be scorned.  It’s like he assumes everyone is or should be highly-educated (which many are not), purely objective (when one’s subjective life situation plays a central part in perceptions and judgments), and should minimize or not factor in genuine inspiration-filled, good feelings as part of one’s decision-making process when picking public leaders.  The implication is that including this third item is superficial and ignorant, i.e., uneducated and unpatriotic, childish.  This is no way to win over people into a more unified electorate to vote against Trump and his ilk, and most certainly not Beto fans, who are a swathe of people we can and should count as allies/fellow voting citizens.  Harshly shaming people for trying their best, which inevitably includes their natural impulses and human short-comings, is unproductive.  Rather, encouraging people to do better is what’s needed.  And please interweave within that encouragement the dissemination of accurate information, combined with underscoring how we are all in this together.  Also, devotion need not be completely dismissed out of hand as un-evolved and inappropriate within the political arena.  Some people occasionally earn such trust and admiration.

I say that you can celebrate excellent politicians while criticizing them where indicated, as they are certainly not infallible, just the opposite. In other words, be discerning and mindful, not a blind follower and praiser of a politician, or anyone for that matter.  I need to know much more about Beto O’Rourke and his policy positions, for example, before praising him/treating him as a celebrity.  And what little I do know about his policy stances doesn’t warrant much praise.  But, if a political leader is doing a great job, showing bravery and consistently putting their words into good actions, from a place of sincerity and true care — which is a very rare breed of politician– then I feel damn happy and glad to praise and celebrate them.  Alexandria Ocasio Cortez comes readily to mind, and not because of her looks, but what she says and does with passion, stridency, absolute sincerity, and compassion.  However, let’s be honest here.  It certainly does not detract in any way that AOC is also physically young, beautiful, and vibrant.  She speaks and works hard on behalf of her constituents and, by extension, so many of us who are not in her Congressional district.  From a place of joy and relief in my heart, I celebrate her.  I don’t think by doing so that I’m participating in being “un-American, ridiculous, or dangerous,” just the opposite.  Rather, via praise and, subsequently, some devotion to her, I wish to reinforce AOC in doing a great job, encouraging the new Congresswoman to stay with it, particularly given the fact that she receives hate mail and death threats constantly.  Also, another intention here is to encourage other political leaders to emulate Ms. Cortez in thought and action.  She is truly a celebrity because she has earned such status from me and others.  Supporting Ms. AOC’s ongoing upward (thus far) evolution as a great leader is truly being patriotic, safe-making (as opposed to dangerous– except for her toxically ignorant opponents), and anything but ridiculous.  It is possible, of course, that her integrity could weaken and she could rightfully lose this status.  My hope, of course, is that this will not happen.

This post by Mr. Walsh is broad-sweeping, though I do get the point he is trying to make. The phenomenon of creating and maintaining celebrities has been overdone time and again, unmindfully/with little thought, given the aforementioned desperate need in many people to have someone to follow, be it politically and/or spiritually. I get that.  But, there is nothing inherently wrong with such a need and efforts to fulfill it.  Some discerning celebrity-making is fine and healthy.  Devotion isn’t automatically a stupid, ridiculous, un-American thing in all instances.  Actually, it’s quite typically American to be devoted to public figures, however uninformed many are in doing so.  It’s simply that most people have not duly earned their celebrity, particularly in the political arena.  Many individuals are often far too trusting too soon, willing to go with little or no information to back up their first blush gut responses to an appealing persona put before them.  Often, this comes out of innocence, though, for even more, just plain ignorance, stemming from fear and initially not knowing any different.  Some of us start out in life with more available information due to privilege we are born into and next to, while others are less fortunate, starting with little to almost nothing.  That’s not to condescend to the latter in any way– which Mr. Walsh comes across as doing in his post.  Those of us who know more need to offer out our knowledge as best and creatively to as many as possible, as often as possible.  Share and share alike.  Therein lies good leadership.

Along with a weaponizing of knowledge (by both liberal/progressive elites and conservatives alike, albeit generally more calculatingly so by the latter) against those who lack it, there is a paucity of praise to others in the world and way too much harmful tearing down of people instead.  I’ve always valued the importance of frequent, thoughtful, honest praise.  I find there is joy in giving it where readily earned.  Everyone deserves it here and there, be it small or large praise, including to reinforce a quality we may wish to see more expression of from someone.

To my understanding, an origin of giving praise is a spiritual one.  We are recognizing the divine or higher, evolved, positive nature in someone when we praise them.  Devotion and its accompanying act of praising is an ancient practice done before gods in countless cultures across history.  It is a moment of wonder and goodness when we recognize and speak of the good/Goddess/God nature in someone before us.  Doing this often is an important part of a healthy spiritual practice or, for those who are strict atheists, simply good mental hygiene.

There is so much cynical judging and divisiveness going around– which is a large part of the problem in politics and elsewhere– and this post by Matt Walsh smacks of more of it to me, his judgments seemingly from a place of informed privilege and arrogance.  How tiring.  Join the rest of humanity, please, Matt.  I think you need to chill out for a bit, perhaps get a long series of deep tissue massages while having what seems like an uncomfortable big stick pulled out of your ass.

 

On Fear and Ignorance

I’m convinced that some people have a part or parts inside them that are fearfully, willfully ignorant and prefer to stay that way rather than allow new information to change their overall perspective. It’s like they’re predominately stuck somewhere in a stage/phase of child development, having never successfully completed it. I think this has always been the case for whole segments of humanity. For those of us who are not so rigidly ruled by ignorant, afraid parts– and all or the vast majority of people have them in their psyches– it’s left to us to save both ourselves and those more stuck people from such harmful actions that arise from desperately holding onto so much fear and ignorance. No pridefulness or arrogance is meant here. Rather, a combination of being humble, compassionate, and mindfully aware is in order. Those who strive imperfectly but sincerely to live this way naturally lead others by example into creating a healthier world for all. And I’m so grateful for the many who lead by such wonderful example.

Quick Thoughts on Kraft and Human Traffickers

Personally, I have no moral judgment against consenting adults receiving money for sex from other consenting adults, as long as all parties concerned are doing so completely from a place of free will. I don’t think it’s my place to judge what consenting adults do with each other behind closed doors, including whether money is exchanged between them or not. But, it’s a different matter altogether with trafficked individuals, who have been captured and imprisoned into a life of prostitution. Shame on both the traffickers and purchasers of the “services” provided in such heinous, criminal circumstances. Robert Kraft and others should know better. To Kraft et al, I say, find unfettered consenting adults for sexual servicing and stop perpetuating a cycle of brutal exploitation. And I do think that paying for sex with a trafficked individual should be considered a serious felony offense, and an even more grave one if the person is a minor.

This incident involving Kraft is yet another example of largely rich white males continuing to exploit women and minorities in this skewed, power-imbalanced culture. Nothing new, sadly, but well-worth fighting to stop.